Monthly Archives: March 2014

Summer is on its way

“This summer I think I’m going to rock jorts REAL hard.”


Giving driving directions (which are accurate)

“You go take a right at the shitty Kroger, go past Xavier, then take a left on some dumb street.”


“Fake hands are funny!”


And then followed by an idea for an invention

“I need some venture capital for this idea. You know how when people have a baby they make pink cigars for girls and blue cigars for boys? I’m going to make the world’s first cigar for hermie babies. It’ll be, like periwinkle or fucking mauve”

Followed by a song that goes “it’s a boy and a girl. Go ahead and smoke yourself a hermie!”

His response to news that our friend had her baby

“Is it a hermie?”

I asked if he would call his kids “champ”

“No. They’ll call me champ.”