Monthly Archives: November 2013

Showing me a bag full of spent pistachio shells

“Hey, what if I go and put this back on the shelves at Kroger?”

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More gas jokes

“I invested a kind of belching called inward belching.”

Then 30 seconds later:

“I have been trying for days to belch the words ‘Yo Gabba Gabba’ and I can’t do it. It’s hard. I bet you haven’t even noticed that, have you?”

Weight Loss

“Yeah I could weigh as much as you. When I get cancer. Yeah I’d weigh as much as you for a week, and then congratulations. I’m dead.”

More yelling at drivers

“Your breath smells like cheesecake, ya baloneyface!”

Jason’s summary of The Hunger Games

“Stop. Don’t eat those berries. You won.”

About other drivers

“What is this asshole doing?! I’m gonna punch you in the dick. Geez, a little bit of rain comes down, and then, dicks out.”

After a disappointing visit to Taco Bell

“Yeah but even dumb people know how to make nachos. …I thought.”