Monthly Archives: September 2013

With a big, proud smile on his face

“You know what I like to wear when it get cold outside? Fartigans.”

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Spelling things with emojis

“Look! It’s a turd with a trumpet!”

Who is emasculating whom?

“Hey when you get married, does your wife take your ding dong?”

Yelling at the TV regarding his Fantasy Football teams

“Dammit! I need it to be my boy! I need it to be my boy!”

Talking about the Red Zone Channel host

“That guy needs to get an ear tuck job.”

More on my bad breath

“I’ll just put a bag over your breath.”

On Re-use

“If there’s anything you don’t want used, it’s tires and underwear. And toothbrush.”