Monthly Archives: June 2013

I asked of he stepped in something.

“Yeah you stepped into my fart.”

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I spent the day driving through Nevada, Utah, and Arizona with Jason. I collected these gems for you

Holy fuckstick!

That’s amazeballs!

Not gonna see that at Winton Woods.

Does this look like Kentucky to you? Me neither.

I guess there’s no raping and pillaging back here? You’re not allowed to do that?

We should formula one Grand Prix it through here.

They definitely have beavers back here. Because there’s dams. Making dams, damn beavers.

This is straight outta bugs bunny.

Whoooa. That makes my belly get wheezy.

Yeah building this road would’ve suuuucked. I would’ve been like “I’m sick that day.”

Smells like victory.

The earth is a pretty amazing place.

You have service here because you’re close to the satellites. (At 8000 ft elevation)

Steers and queers! (Passing cattle)

It’s like I’m eating corn across America.

Hey if anybody wants rocks I know where to get rocks now.

See how that rock comes up? It’s like Big Boy’s hair over there.

Those rocks just pop up. We should do a pop up formation here.

Stone Temple Pilots are playing here. Stone! Temple Pilots.

You know where you are? You’re in the pueblo baby!

My phone got caught up in some bucket sauce here on the table.

I outdid myself on this one (about Instagram)

Trying to remember the name of Locks of Love

“Cancer Heads for Kids”

Listening to George Jones, explaining why new Country music is bad

“It’s all shiny now. This isn’t shiny.”

In our honeymoon, I pointed out that he looked happy. Without hesitation, he replied:

“I love sushi.”

His response to “but it’s a dry heat”

“Yeah but it’s still hot. That’s like saying its a just a dry turd.”

Not anytime soon

“Isn’t it weird that babies come out of birth canals? It’s like an elastic headband down there.”