Monthly Archives: February 2013

A day off work because…

“Happy Presidents Day, babe. They died for your sins.”


Talking about Beyonce and Jay-Z’s kid

What did they name their kid? Something fucked up right? Blue Ivy?! What if they named it Sepia Log?

Gross optimism

“When life makes you pee…make yellow water.”

Discussing “in sickness and in health”

“Well, babe, I tell you what. If you get a cold….I’m going to pull the plug.”

Explaining what Frederick Douglas did

“He wore dope-ass scarves”

He wants to start a tv channel called The Hot Dog Network

“People with hot dogs in their mouth, people making hot dogs, hot dogs getting sauerkraut on them, getting mustard on them, people slipping on hot dogs. Hot dog bloopers!”

Soul burger

“That’s what I’d serve if I had a restaurant. I’d call it James Burger Brown. Sounds delicious.”