Monthly Archives: January 2013

A rockin’ good meal

“Oh, they call me the Rock and Roll Chef because I play guitar while I cook chiiiiiicken!”

Talking about writing a children’s book called Lucy and the Fart Hiccups

“It’s going to be fucking revolutionary. It’s going to teach girls that it’s OK to fart. This is going to be a stepping stone for women’s liberation. Whatever Goldie Hawn did for women’s rights this is going to bury her. Little girls everywhere will feel comfortable farting in public and feeling great about themselves.

…And the book will be written by the lead singer of the Spurzz, Soft J.”

He had a bad cold

“You know you’re sickies when you wear sweatpants to bed.”

Followed by: “I love you even though I’m sick.”

“Wanna hear an idea I just had for the most useless app?”

“It’s an app that tells homeless people where they can get meals.”

A normal response around my house, when I ask where a new musical instrument came from

“Oh that’s from Knife Dick.”

It does

“It do-be-don’t-be-do.”

Trying to remember who someone is

“Wait, is she a comedian? Oh a lesbian. I knew it was something.”