Monthly Archives: January 2012

Dreaming about our future

“Hey, when our baby poops on us, I’ll poop on our baby. Right back.”



“I stuck the landing in my undershorts”

After a bite of really good ice cream

“Ohhhh…it’s like…slap you in the dick good.”

Watching news about world hunger

“I don’t know how people live in the desert. I would walk my ass right out of there.”

What are you doing tonight?

“Partying with The Goot. Steve Gutenberg.”

Love is intangible

“I wish I could invent a thing where you could fart into your hand and then release it like POOF in your face. You’d be stinkified. Shitmisted! You got shitmisted, son!”

Why he likes back scratches

“Scratchies are like currency to me…so it’s like you just gave me 50 bucks.”