Monthly Archives: August 2011

Naming the gender and order in which he’d like to have children

“Boy
Boy
Boy

Boy.
Then like 12 more boys.

Girls are hard, man, you have to talk to them about, like, douching and stuff and then guys try to have sex with them.”

I told him I got Taco Bell

“Did you get the Taco Bell Doritos Spontaneous Whatnot?”

AKA farts

“green apple splatters”

Jason/Confucious say:

“Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger”

Response, with no pause, to “what animal do you think you look like?”

“The cock.”

Replying to my comment about who that dickhead driving a Hummer thinks he is

“Some kicker for the Reds.”