Monthly Archives: July 2011

On the guy jaywalking toward his car

“Oops this guy’s a redneck!”

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Watching World Cup soccer

“Did we score?!” walks in the room, drops his shorts to his ankles, falls to the floor, and rolls around with his feet in the air.

On maturity

“I’m not a half-child. I’m a grown-ass man. You understand what that means?”

Bragging about making French toast

“My french toast makes all the ladies’ …milk… turn into rum… or something. Whatever it is that she says in that song.”

Considering the effects of adding some grunts to a song he recorded

“That’s when shit’s about to get legendary”

About the weather

“It’s wicked fucking pisser hot.”

Talking to his cat

“What up, Captain Sprawled-out?”